Job 10:8-10
‘Your hands have made me and fashioned me,
An intricate unity;
Yet You would destroy me.
An intricate unity;
Yet You would destroy me.
Remember, I pray, that You have made me like clay.
And will You turn me into dust again?
And will You turn me into dust again?
This morning something happened with my husband that brought me much alarm. I cannot go into the details that led up to this, but I will say that the situation I have personally been involved in (which also has a big impact upon my whole family) can add a bit of stress when you attempt to do whatever is humanly possible to see justice done and much wrong turned to right. I shared with my sister Netty about what had happened and she did a conference call. During our conversation something was said that made me burst out in anger and say , " I REFUSE to be involved in ANYTHING these deceivers and those in this community have taken part in. I will have NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM " ! I made it solely my husband’s responsibility if he were to sign a membership lease to deal with these people. I wanted NO PART OF IT AT ALL!
You see, hatred, bitterness and resentment was brewing strong in my soul, that I received a loving firm rebuke from Abba through my brother Mike and my sister Netty; words of exhortation that I began to RESIST for a bit, but as they continued to speak Abba's truth, something was happening in my heart. I could feel HIS hot knife cut away at this wretched flesh. By the time we neared the end of our call, I wept with tears of repentance and knew that the direction I was going in, even at my vehement resistance, needed to change.
But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for He is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
What that means and what Abba would have me do with those I will have to deal with I now place completely in His Hands. What I am most concerned with is the call to submit to my husband, support him and stand by his side even if it hurts and doesn't make a lick of sense. Not my will, but ABBA's will be done! Strongly led by the Spirit, I called the two women I was involved with in seeking legal action, and asked their forgiveness for the anger and hatred I have displayed around them for these people we have been up against, and shared what happened with me this morning; and also that they needed to proceed further without me. Surprisingly, they both were very touched and moved by my phone call. Abba has turned this heart of stone on a much ongoing and very troubling matter to a tender heart of flesh. So tender that I can't stop the tears from rising up throughout the day.
Mike said to me, " Linda, you know evil doesn't stumble upon you, but they are also directed by Abba's hand for His purpose. That we be more conformed into the image of His beloved Son ." Many words of wisdom came pouring out from my brother and sister as they too are right smack dab in the middle of some very intense fiery trials themselves. The fruit of what they are presently enduring in the way they have personally ministered to my own situation, was the healing balm and spiritual ointment my once bitter, angry and hateful soul needed. I have SO LONGED for this kind of fellowship with those few like Mike, Netty and others who love Abba with a passion. Who love you enough to not coddle your flesh, but speak His Truth in Love that brings conviction and repentance from our self nature, this world and the enemies attempt to derail and destroy us every single day on this GOD WILL FORSAKE and bring under GREAT JUDGEMENT world!
I love Abba Father and His Son Jesus Christ SO MUCH that I don't want anything to stand in its Way. ESPECIALLY my own stinking flesh! If I couldn't endure with our Lord till the end, I would rather He make it so that I had never even existed in the first place; then if I were to make my bed in hell, KNOWING even there I cannot hide from His presence, but with regret have to look into His loving eyes from an excruciating painful distance of eternal torment.
Only by HIS GRACE go I! Only by His power at work in me can I go about from day to day dealing with life's set backs, trials, heart aches and painful disappointments. Only by He who is greater in and than me, can I deal with and overcome our adversary and his minions in this world. Evil will come and the times prophesied will be like no other time in history. Will ANY OF US make it? CAN ANY OF US ENDURE??? NO, not at all!!! We can't make or do anything without He who wills to do according to His eternal purpose. HE who began a good work in His beloved children will COMPLETE IT! It's a daily agonizing working out our salvation with fear and trembling before our Almighty Abba Father God and departing from the evil that seeks to rob and steal our soul away from Him.
Hebrews 12:14-16
Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.
Matt 5:44
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Luke 6:35
But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for He is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
What that means and what Abba would have me do with those I will have to deal with I now place completely in His Hands. What I am most concerned with is the call to submit to my husband, support him and stand by his side even if it hurts and doesn't make a lick of sense. Not my will, but ABBA's will be done! Strongly led by the Spirit, I called the two women I was involved with in seeking legal action, and asked their forgiveness for the anger and hatred I have displayed around them for these people we have been up against, and shared what happened with me this morning; and also that they needed to proceed further without me. Surprisingly, they both were very touched and moved by my phone call. Abba has turned this heart of stone on a much ongoing and very troubling matter to a tender heart of flesh. So tender that I can't stop the tears from rising up throughout the day.
Mike said to me, " Linda, you know evil doesn't stumble upon you, but they are also directed by Abba's hand for His purpose. That we be more conformed into the image of His beloved Son ." Many words of wisdom came pouring out from my brother and sister as they too are right smack dab in the middle of some very intense fiery trials themselves. The fruit of what they are presently enduring in the way they have personally ministered to my own situation, was the healing balm and spiritual ointment my once bitter, angry and hateful soul needed. I have SO LONGED for this kind of fellowship with those few like Mike, Netty and others who love Abba with a passion. Who love you enough to not coddle your flesh, but speak His Truth in Love that brings conviction and repentance from our self nature, this world and the enemies attempt to derail and destroy us every single day on this GOD WILL FORSAKE and bring under GREAT JUDGEMENT world!
I love Abba Father and His Son Jesus Christ SO MUCH that I don't want anything to stand in its Way. ESPECIALLY my own stinking flesh! If I couldn't endure with our Lord till the end, I would rather He make it so that I had never even existed in the first place; then if I were to make my bed in hell, KNOWING even there I cannot hide from His presence, but with regret have to look into His loving eyes from an excruciating painful distance of eternal torment.
Only by HIS GRACE go I! Only by His power at work in me can I go about from day to day dealing with life's set backs, trials, heart aches and painful disappointments. Only by He who is greater in and than me, can I deal with and overcome our adversary and his minions in this world. Evil will come and the times prophesied will be like no other time in history. Will ANY OF US make it? CAN ANY OF US ENDURE??? NO, not at all!!! We can't make or do anything without He who wills to do according to His eternal purpose. HE who began a good work in His beloved children will COMPLETE IT! It's a daily agonizing working out our salvation with fear and trembling before our Almighty Abba Father God and departing from the evil that seeks to rob and steal our soul away from Him.
It's a CONSTANT battle to the end of which NONE of us can endure without HIM!!!!!!
"And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding "
Job 27
Moreover Job continued his parable, and said, As God liveth, who hath taken away my judgment; and the Almighty, who hath vexed my soul; All the while my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils; My lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue utter deceit. God forbid that I should justify you: till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me. My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go: my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live. Let mine enemy be as the wicked, and he that riseth up against me as the unrighteous. For what is the hope of the hypocrite, though he hath gained, when God taketh away his soul? Will God hear his cry when trouble cometh upon him? Will he delight himself in the Almighty? will he always call upon God? I will teach you by the hand of God: that which is with the Almighty will I not conceal. Behold, all ye yourselves have seen it; why then are ye thus altogether vain? This is the portion of a wicked man with God, and the heritage of oppressors, which they shall receive of the Almighty. If his children be multiplied, it is for the sword: and his offspring shall not be satisfied with bread. Those that remain of him shall be buried in death: and his widows shall not weep. Though he heap up silver as the dust, and prepare raiment as the clay; He may prepare it, but the just shall put it on, and the innocent shall divide the silver. He buildeth his house as a moth, and as a booth that the keeper maketh. The rich man shall lie down, but he shall not be gathered: he openeth his eyes, and he is not. Terrors take hold on him as waters, a tempest stealeth him away in the night. The east wind carrieth him away, and he departeth: and as a storm hurleth him out of his place. For God shall cast upon him, and not spare: he would fain flee out of his hand. Men shall clap their hands at him, and shall hiss him out of his place.
Job 28:12-28
But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding? Man knoweth not the price thereof; neither is it found in the land of the living. The depth saith, It is not in me: and the sea saith, It is not with me. It cannot be gotten for gold, neither shall silver be weighed for the price thereof. It cannot be valued with the gold of Ophir, with the precious onyx, or the sapphire. The gold and the crystal cannot equal it: and the exchange of it shall not be for jewels of fine gold. No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: for the price of wisdom is above rubies. The topaz of Ethiopia shall not equal it, neither shall it be valued with pure gold. Whence then cometh wisdom? and where is the place of understanding? Seeing it is hid from the eyes of all living, and kept close from the fowls of the air. Destruction and death say, We have heard the fame thereof with our ears. God understandeth the way thereof, and he knoweth the place thereof. For he looketh to the ends of the earth, and seeth under the whole heaven; To make the weight for the winds; and he weigheth the waters by measure. When he made a decree for the rain, and a way for the lightning of the thunder: Then did he see it, and declare it; he prepared it, yea, and searched it out. And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.
* This evening my husband just signed a contract lease I SWORE I would NEVER sign, but I know Abba wants me to stand with my husband out of love and obedience. Now I just go cry somewhere for awhile and embrace my broken heart. " A broken heart He will not despise nor turn away. " *
